The Presidents’ State of the Union speech is scheduled for tonight and we have been inundated with negativity by the media, “entertainment” figures and opposing politicians. That is not only a shame, but, in my opinion, it is hurtful to our American society. The negativity is not confined to those on the left. With epithets like “Cryin’ Chuck”, for example, President Trump does no favor toward respect of his office. Perhaps a bit of a reminder to our public figures is in order.
I want to remind them of some pretty basic manners. I believe our “civilization” has forgotten and in return has created a downfall. Without manners and respect for one another, this world will get darker and darker. Here are a list of some of the most forgotten manners that need to be reintroduced into today’s society.
Saying “Please” and “Thank you.”
I know this was the very first set of manners I was taught when I was a child and yet, this is the most unused set of manners today! I walk around and hear folks demand something without a please or a thank you.
To be honest, it makes me want to smack them upside the head! Did your parents forget to teach you the core basics of respect? It might be that person’s “job” to retrieve you whatever it was you asked for; however, it is not their job to do it in any time fashion.
You could ask for a side of ranch and they could take 15 minutes — however, you ask for a side of ranch please, that waiter/waitress might bring that ranch a lot faster.
Saying please and thank you takes an extra two breaths and is more respectful. That person you are showing respect to is a human just as you are, and therefore, they deserve manners just like you do.
Holding the door open for others.
My parents taught me that you are to hold the door for anyone — it does not matter who they are: black, white, purple, green, male, female, young, old, baby, someone you love or someone you hate. You show respect to someone no matter what and you hold the door open. Period.
Today, I find it rare that the door is held open. If you see me coming, hold the door open for me. I do not care if you are a male or a female, hold the door. I know I have arms, but so do you — it’s called respect.
Saying, “Excuse me.”
Life is a beginning and an end with a lot of hustle and bustle in the middle. I get it, life is crazy during the in between, and people are typically running around like crazy dogs running away from a dog catcher.
What I do not understand is why we as a society have lost the art of using the words “excuse me” when trying to get around someone or when we bump into someone. Since when did it become okay to run into someone and act like almost taking off that poor innocent person’s arm did not matter to you? Oh yeah — it never has.
Telling someone, “Bless you.”
Saying “bless you” to someone has many different backgrounds. The most thought of origin came from illness. In 590 AD, Italy suffered a horrible plague and the Pope issued a law that stated that whenever someone sneezed, people were to say “God bless you” and make the cross over their mouths, in hopes to keep the person from catching the plague.
Because a sneeze was a symptom of the plague, people who heard another sneeze and said “God bless you” took interest in the person’s life. So today, when someone sneezes, and someone says “bless you,” they are taking an interest as well. They want the person to know that they wish them well. While this seems like a minor act, it is an act that can go a long way for someone.
Using eye contact.
Maybe it is just me, but something that can really irritate me faster than being cut off in traffic is when someone does not make eye contact with me while having a conversation.
Eye contact is key to any good conversation. It allows the person you are communicating with to know that you are interested in what they have to say and that you value their time. Therefore, when you have a conversation with someone, look them in the eyes and let them know you value their time and what they have to say.
Of course, in order to make eye contact you will have to put down your cell phone and stop texting… what a radical idea.
Waiting your turn.
Like I said before, I know life is busy.
There is just one thing I want to clarify with everyone. Your life is busy, but so is everyone else’s. I have things within my life that I have to do that require urgency and I know you do as well. Life is about waiting though. Patience is a virtue, or so they say. You wait to go to school. You wait to graduate. You wait to get married and have kids. You wait to retire. Wait. It is within the waiting that you find that life is actually happening and your life is worthwhile.
Using someone’s PROPER title.
The use of someone’s proper title is important.
And this concept goes beyond the title of “doctor” for example. If someone is married or divorced, those titles matter as well. Calling someone a Ms. when they are are truly a Mrs. can make someone upset. Make sure you know someone’s title before you address them.
Basic respect for one another.
I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it has always been like this, but I feel like the level of rudeness that people have toward one another has escalated from a level one to threat level.
Since when did it become okay for everyone to talk about each other? Since when did it become okay for others to use one another to climb their way to the top of the social ladder? When did the basic instinct of human compassion leave each of our hearts and we all become so selfish. I know, you might think that these are not manners, but they are. The definition of manners is the way a person acts toward one another. So when did our ideal standards of manners become ignorance?
It all comes down to one word…respect. Unfortunately we have seemed to lost that concept in our everyday life which is sad. The first step is, of course, self-respect. You cannot respect others if you do not respect yourself, in word, deed and action. It comes under the heading of another concept that seems to be in short supply in our society today… personal responsibility.
